Hey buddy! Alright, sit tight because I’ve got a topic for you that’s gonna totally change your life. You know what I’m talking about? That annoying inner critic that’s always on your back, yapping away… Time to get rid of it, right? So let’s dive in! Get ready for a solid dose of knowledge that’ll help you handle that little jerk once and for all.
1. Learn to recognize that little punk
Okay, the first thing you gotta figure out is how to spot when this inner critic starts running its mouth. It’s that small, nasty voice in your head that keeps repeating “you can’t do it”, “you’re hopeless” and all that crap. You know what I’m talking about, right?
How to catch it?
Pay attention to thoughts like:
- “I always screw everything up”
- “I’ll never make it”
- “Everyone’s better than me”
- “Why even try, it won’t work out anyway”
- “I’m a complete failure”
Sounds familiar? Exactly. That’s him, the little troublemaker. But chill, you’re not alone. Everyone’s got a little jerk like that in their head, some just handle it better.
Time for confrontation
Once you catch it, ask yourself a few questions:
- “Hey, is this really true, or am I just scared?”
- “If my buddy was in this situation, what would I tell him?”
- “Do I have any evidence to back up this thought, or is it just my assumption?”
- “How would this look from a neutral person’s perspective?”
- “What if I tried despite these thoughts?”
You’ll see that often this critic talks nonsense and has no clue what it’s on about. It’s kinda like an internal troll – lots of noise, little sense.
Where did this inner critic come from?
You know what? This little jerk didn’t come out of nowhere. Often it’s the result of our childhood experiences, things we heard from parents, teachers, or peers. Maybe someone once told you that you’re good for nothing? Or that you should always be the best? These voices stay with us and sometimes turn into that annoying critic.
How to weaken it?
Alright, here’s a concrete action plan:
- Start writing down these critical thoughts. Seriously, grab a notebook and jot them down.
- For each thought, ask yourself: “Is this a fact, or just my interpretation?”
- Try to find evidence against this thought. You’ll surely find something!
- Think about what you’d say to a friend in this situation.
- Replace this critical thought with something more realistic and supportive.
For example:
Critical thought: “I’m a complete failure.”
Changed thought: “Okay, maybe not everything works out perfectly for me, but I have my strengths and I’m constantly learning.”
2. Be your own buddy, not your enemy
You know what? It’s time to start treating yourself like your best friend. Seriously! Think about what you’d say to your buddy if he was feeling down. Certainly not “you’re good for nothing”, right?
How to do it?
- When something doesn’t work out, instead of getting mad at yourself, say: “It’s cool, next time will be better”
- Remember, everyone messes up sometimes. It’s normal, dude!
- Treat failures as lessons. You know, like life experience
- Instead of criticizing yourself, try to understand yourself. Why did something go wrong? What can you learn from it?
- Celebrate your small successes. Seriously, even the tiniest ones!
A little trick to boost your mood
Try this: Next time you’re being harsh on yourself, put your hand on your heart and say: “Buddy, I know it’s tough. But we’ve got this, right?”. Sounds silly? Maybe a bit, but it works! It’s like a small gesture of compassion for yourself.
Why is this so important?
Listen, being a good buddy to yourself isn’t some hippie talk. It’s got scientific backing! Studies show that people who treat themselves with more kindness are more resilient to stress, cope better with challenges, and are generally happier. So it’s not just some “think positive and it’ll be fine” stuff, but a concrete strategy for a better life.
Practical ways to be your own buddy
- Talk to yourself by name. Instead of “I’m hopeless”, say “Hey [Your Name], you’ve made it this far, you’ll make it now too”.
- Imagine you’re talking to a younger version of yourself. What would you say to little you?
- Make a list of your strengths and achievements. Seriously, even the smallest ones. And read it when the critic hits you.
- Practice positive affirmations. Yeah, I know, sounds like it’s from a housewife’s guide, but it works. Find ones that suit you.
- Learn to say “no”. Sometimes being good to yourself means refusing others.
3. Get a grip on the topic, or mindfulness our way
Okay, now something that sounds smart but is super simple – mindfulness. It’s about being here and now, instead of constantly thinking about the past or future. It’s like turning off the autopilot in your brain.
How to handle it?
- Find a quiet place (even the toilet will do, seriously)
- Close your eyes and focus on your breath
- When thoughts come, don’t worry. Just notice them and gently return to your breath
- Start with 5 minutes a day. Seriously, just that much
- You can use a meditation app, there are plenty of them
It’s like training for your brain. The more you practice, the better you get.
In everyday life
Try to be more mindful in everyday matters:
- When eating a kebab, focus on the taste instead of scrolling through Insta
- Walking to the store, pay attention to what you see around you
- When doing something, do it 100% instead of thinking about 10 other things
- During a shower, feel the water on your skin instead of planning the whole day
- When listening to music, really listen to it instead of treating it as background noise
Why does it work?
Mindfulness helps you get some distance from your thoughts. Instead of getting carried away by them, you learn to observe them. It’s like watching a movie – you’re the viewer, not the actor in your mind’s drama. This makes it easier to notice when the inner critic starts its talk and not get dragged into its game.
A quick trick for instant mindfulness
Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique:
- Find 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can feel (e.g., the chair under you, clothes on your skin)
- 3 sounds you can hear
- 2 smells you can smell
- 1 taste in your mouth
It’s a quick way to return to the present when you feel your mind starting to go crazy.
4. Change the record in your head
You know what? It’s time to change that old, rusty record in your head to something more positive. Instead of constantly playing the same sad techno, put on a happier track!
How to do it?
- Instead of “I suck”, say “Okay, maybe I’m not the world champion, but I’m doing alright”
- When you think “I can’t do it”, change it to “I don’t know how to do it yet, but I’ll learn”
- Instead of “It’s definitely my fault”, try “Hey, everyone messes up sometimes, it’s normal”
- Change “I always screw everything up” to “Sometimes things don’t work out, but often they do”
- Transform “I’m hopeless in relationships” into “I still have a lot to learn about relationships”
A little lifehack
You know what’s great? A gratitude journal. Sounds like something for girls? Maybe, but it works like hell. Every evening, write down 3 things you’re grateful for. Even if it’s “Today I didn’t step in dog poop on the sidewalk”. Seriously, it changes your perspective!
Why does it work?
Our brain has a tendency to focus on negatives. It’s like an evolutionary trick – better to notice a threat than miss it. But in today’s times, this tendency often gets in our way. Consciously focusing on positives helps balance this natural inclination.
Practical ways to change your thinking
- Start a “jar of good moments”. Write down cool things that happened to you on small pieces of paper and throw them in the jar. When you’re feeling down, pull out a few and read them.
- Make yourself a “wall of success”. Hang your achievements, diplomas, photos from cool moments on the wall. It’ll be your visual proof that you’re a cool guy.
- Play the “but” game. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, add “but” to it and something positive. For example: “I screwed up this presentation, but at least I gained experience and know what to improve next time”.
- The “If it was my friend” technique. When you have some negative thought about yourself, think about what you’d say to a friend in this situation. And say it to yourself.
- Change your “I have to” to “I want to”. Instead of “I have to go to the gym”, say “I want to go to the gym because I want to be healthy and look good”.
5. Let go of being perfect
Listen, nobody’s perfect. Even Cristiano Ronaldo sometimes doesn’t score a goal. So why should you be perfect?
How to let go?
- Instead of pushing for 100% in everything, choose what’s really important
- Remember that mistakes are normal. Even the best make them
- Enjoy small successes. You did the laundry? Great! You deserve a beer
- Learn to say “good enough”. Not everything has to be perfect
- Accept that some things are beyond your control
Realistic goals
Set goals that are achievable:
- Break big tasks into smaller ones. Instead of “I’ll lose 20 kg”, start with “I won’t eat chips before TV”
- Give yourself time. Rome wasn’t built in a day either
- Be flexible. Life isn’t a computer game, you can’t plan everything
- Set priorities. You can’t be a master at everything, so choose what’s most important to you
Why perfectionism sucks?
Perfectionism is such a sneaky bastard. You mean well, but it turns out as usual. Instead of motivating, it often paralyzes. You’re afraid to start because you know it won’t be perfect. Or you don’t finish because you’re constantly improving something. As a result, you do less than you could, you stress more, and you enjoy life less. So it’s time to tell perfectionism to piss off and start living!
